Flashbacks
...I Understand, I get it...
A Little over, 1 Year Ago I became a Aunt.
A Little over, 1 Year Ago I became a Aunt.
My Husband became a Uncle & Our Children became Cousins.
We gained & lost a Nephew. And my testimony of the Atonment only grew.
I have had a great deal of Flashbacks in the past 2 weeks. More than normal. 2 inperticular.
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I have had a great deal of Flashbacks in the past 2 weeks. More than normal. 2 inperticular.
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The first of My Mother. There was a point in her treatments where we had to go into Boston for a Procedure. A Metal Halo was to be placed into her Head. This would allow her to receive precise Radiation to her Brain. We knew it would be awful. But I don't think anything could prepare us for what we were about to hear & gain.
We said our goodbyes. They sent us to a room down the Hall. Somewhat muffled, we could hear her talking to the doctors.
We said our goodbyes. They sent us to a room down the Hall. Somewhat muffled, we could hear her talking to the doctors.
You see you have to be awake for this procedure. To ensure they don't go down to far.
We could hear what sounded like mulitple screwdrivers. My Mothers cried out. Her crys pierced me. "Ow Ow Ow Ow!!!". You could hear the anguish of her feeling the pressure from all sides.
What was only 15 minutes seemed like hours. All of us were crying. There was simply nothing we could do. Finally they let us come back in to see her. 5 Big Screws held a Huge Gray Metal Halo. The Screws had indented into her skull. Dry Blood around each screw. It was a horrific site.
I got it. I understood. My Mother never once complained. You would never hear another cry. You never heard her "Woe Is Me". My Mother gave every ounce of Faith she had. She knew this was a small moment.
We could hear what sounded like mulitple screwdrivers. My Mothers cried out. Her crys pierced me. "Ow Ow Ow Ow!!!". You could hear the anguish of her feeling the pressure from all sides.
What was only 15 minutes seemed like hours. All of us were crying. There was simply nothing we could do. Finally they let us come back in to see her. 5 Big Screws held a Huge Gray Metal Halo. The Screws had indented into her skull. Dry Blood around each screw. It was a horrific site.
I got it. I understood. My Mother never once complained. You would never hear another cry. You never heard her "Woe Is Me". My Mother gave every ounce of Faith she had. She knew this was a small moment.
Christ wore a Crown of Thorns. Christ never once complained. Christ had Faith & trusted the Lord. Christ knew and saw the greater purpose.
Just hearing My Mother suffer was awful. How would it be if I had to hear or Witness Christ being crucified? I got it. I understood. It was so much more personal than ever before.
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Second The Delivery of Sweet Little Devin. My sister was devastated. Labor was very long, she was unmotivated to deliver him. There was no grand reward at the end of all this hard work. Her crys during Labor, triggered My Mothers cry during that procedure. I started thinking about the Atonement. All I could think of was John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”. This was my Sisters First born Son. I too gave birth to a Son first. I got it. I understood.
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Second The Delivery of Sweet Little Devin. My sister was devastated. Labor was very long, she was unmotivated to deliver him. There was no grand reward at the end of all this hard work. Her crys during Labor, triggered My Mothers cry during that procedure. I started thinking about the Atonement. All I could think of was John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”. This was my Sisters First born Son. I too gave birth to a Son first. I got it. I understood.
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I had time alone with there outer shells after there spirts left.
With My Mother I remembered, I studied her Hands. At the time, I wasn't sure why I concentrated on that so hard. Now I understand. I was simply trying to focus on something that seemed the most like her. Her hands were unchanged from the effects of what her body went thru.
With Devin, not thinking, I did it with his feet. I studied those feet so hard.
Christ showed them the marks on his hands & feet. Another way to show Witness that Our Saviour lives. Another testament of the life here after. I never really put it together before. Now when I think of these 2 People. I am instantly filled with feelings of Love for My Saviour. Grateful for opportunity's to grow here on this earth.
I understand. I get it.
I Love You Mommy!
&
I Love You Devin!
